Mothers Leading Outside the Box: Spiritual Leadership Inside the Home

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Reminded of my original inspiration

Recently I a spark has renewed my ever present desire to finish writing a resources that may be found as useful encouragement to moms who are doing the whole church thing alone. Alone as in a spouse is not able too or willing to bring the family to church.

I am looking forward to the continued process of researching and compiling information for this resource.

What are your thoughts?

I need your help!

Moms!!!

I have a passion for Christian study of women's issues and the actions needed for them to complete the process of Sanctification.

Currently, I am writing a book called Sunday Single Mom. The purpose of the book is to encourage moms who may have the sole responsibility of spiritual leadership in their home regardless of the circumstances. This may leave some women on the fence about whether or not they are truly being obedient to God in this role, a role initially intended for the husband/father. What is their responsibility? How can this be done without compromising the headship of the husband in the marriage? Etc.

Since I am doing research and am trying to do this scientifically, I must collect data. I was hoping you could help me by answering a few questions. Please include your name and phone number with your answers, should I need to clarify or expound. Should I use your answers or situation in final publication, I will ask you to sign a waiver. Answering these questions does authorize use of them on my research website. Otherwise correspondence will be confidential.

To verify my credits, I have been a Field Leader for MOPS International for many years and retired this past January to focus on writing this book, homeschooling my children and personal interest. You may have seen some of my articles over the years in the MOPS leadership magazine, Connections, Mom-E-Mails and recently in MomSense. Please consider this in your decision to assist me. My personal deadline for completion of this project is March 2008. So if you can send your answers soon, I would greatly appreciate your help.

Please answer the following questions and email your answers to amy.powers007@gmail.com.
1. Is this (Sunday Single Mom) really a problem? Would you be interested in learning more about this subject for yourself or someone you know?
2. What passages of scripture or resource gave you the most strength?
3. What support inside or outside the church helped? If none, what support do you think you needed from the church?
4. What are your feelings/frustrations, what areas are you the weakest?
5. What did you regret, that did you learned from and would do differently?
6. How would you encourage a mother today going through similar circumstances?
7. Why are you a Sunday Single Mom? What is your story?
8. Any extra comments you might add...

Thank you so much for your help. You guys (ladies) are the best!

Blessings,
Amy Powers

Book Proposal

The purpose of this Blog is to provide a file system, if you will, on research for a book I am writing.

In my role as a leader, mentor and listener to women over the years, I have witnessed a common problem. Women are often left to fulfill the role of spiritual leader in the home. (Define Spiritual Leader or God centered leadership role in marriage.) Their husbands for whatever reason do not come to church. They do not have conviction or passion to lead their wives and children to worship and share in the fellowship with other believers. How can that change? (Define God's words on a husbands/fathers role in marriage.) I know that is something a wife does not directly have control over. Her role as leader in the home is not over her husband, but as a helpmeet to him and a leader to her children. So that is where we must start.

TITLE (A "Working Title" is fine):
Sunday Single Mom or Spiritual Single Mom

AUTHOR
(Including a bit about yourself and why you are qualified to write this book):

I believe my life experiences do qualify me as an authority on the subject.

My husband, David and I have been married for 10 years. We have two children, Justin and Skylar. They are vivacious and beautiful.

My husband suffers from diabetes, depression and social anxiety. One of the side affects to his physical and mental illnesses is sleeping long hours and not wanting to participate in social events due to anxiety. We have attended three types of churches in our communities: a small, medium and very large. We were hopeful that one of these factors would make a difference, but we were wrong.

David goes in and out of depression for various reasons. One thing that has helped is learning I can not change him. Every part of me has tried. I have been nice and I have been sinful in trying to get him to attend church. Trying to control him has affected my attitude to the point of difficultly for me to worship God. Seeing his lack of interest in the spiritual welfare of our home was frustrating.

I grew up in a home where my dad was a good example of spiritual leadership. So, I struggled with what to do. I was embarrassed to attend Church without him. I felt judged that I was not a 'good' Christian wife. I took his absence deeply personal and resented him for putting me in this situation. I was hurt that he did not want our children to experience a balance in leadership (partnership) from their parents. This balance is God's intentions. When I returned from church, I was angry. It was as if I had never gone. I fell into a very dark cycle.

One evening, at a weekly prayer meeting, just before Mother's Day I was convicted of my attitude and bad behavior. The focus of the meeting was on thankfulness and prayers for our mothers. During the meeting, the leader opened the microphone to anyone who wanted to share a special praise or testimony in regards to their mother. One man came forward and shared of his mother's faithfulness to bring him to church and how his dad never went. He honored his mother by staying involved and becoming the Godly man his father had not become. There were many others testimonies that softened my heart to the reality that it was my responsibility to train my children in the way they should go despite my husband's actions. I was thankful for those testimonies and as I looked around the room full of mothers crying, I noticed these mothers were crying because they were alone: alone on Sundays, Wednesdays and alone during many of the other church events...just like me. That night I asked God to give me strength and wisdom to raise my children to be godly adults. I had to change, I could not change anyone.

My struggles have not changed much over the years. I still get frustrated. One thing that has changed, my children and I are always in church. When I return home, I have a sweet spirit, not an angry one. I am not biter but confident in my role as a parent who is raising her children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

How does this affect my husband? 1 Peter 3:1-6 describes my role as a wife.

...to be continued

AUDIENCE
(Who will buy and read your book?):
(1) Christian mothers whose husband is a Christian, but is not actively attending church. They may be doing this for one of the following reasons:
Absence: He is away due to employment, military assignment, etc.
Anger: They are offended by someone in the Church and not ready to return, they are mad at God
Apathy: They do not care
Arrogance: They think they know more than anyone or can learn about God without attending Church
Embarrassed: There is a feeling of sin or shame and they can not bring themselves to Church
Ignorance: They do not know God's intentions for fellowship of the believers and are out of His will
Illness: Physical or mental disorders
Unfulfilled: The church does not have things in place that offers them spiritual fulfillment.
(2) Christian mothers whose husband is not a Christian.
(3) Single/Teen mothers who clearly have no choice.
(4) Church Leaders/Lay People whom can use this as a resource in their Women's Ministry.

FORMAT of the book (Size, how it is organized, number of pages): Topical Chapter Book, pages undetermined at this time


NEED for this book:
Over the last 4 years, working in the MOPS ministry, I have met many mothers who are the only ones bringing their children to Church and leading them in spiritual maturity. Unfortunately in our church culture, this is a larger problem than we realize. There is a need for women to have a resource to encourage them and guide them as they make healthy choices as a mom and/or wife.

PURPOSE of this book:
The goal is to nurture mothers in confidence as they lead in an area which may be outside their comfort zone. God is sad they have to carry this responsibility on their own, but He is pleased with their obedience. He cares for them, their hearts' desires and their families' eternity. The purpose of this book is to show mothers (if married) how they can be their children's spiritual leader and still respect their husband, and even win him over to Christ. For a married or unmarried mother, this book will encourage them to stay focused, help them through struggles and ultimately raise Godly children. Children that will one day rise up and call her blessed.

Similar books on the market and how this one would be different (go to book store, be diligent about this research):

I have researched the Library of Congress and the World Wide Web and I have not found one resource on this specific topic. There are things similar but not exclusive.

MARKETING AVENUES (How/Where would this book be best marketed and do you have contacts that could help?):
The best time of year to market a new mothering book is in the spring around Mother's day. It is a popular time for advocating women's issues in the church as well.
I am a member of a church with 15,000+ members and the pastor is very kind to his congregates that authors books. Also his sermons are web cast all over the world. Any mention would be beneficial.
Being in MOPS Leadership for many years, I have met hundreds of pastors from all denominations. I could use that networking system as well to promote the book. Churches with strong women's ministries would benefit as well.
Last, the publishing company would provide information on it through advertisement, website and catalog publications.

Please provide a summary of the summary of the book in one to three paragraphs, as well as the chapter titles and a one-paragraph description of each chapter.


Include at least three sample chapters, including the first chapter.

Chapter 1 – What is the problem?

Chapter 2 – What to do about feelings, frustrations & regrets?

Chapter 3 – What kind of Sunday Single Mom are you?

Chapter 4 – What can I do?

Chapter 5 – What can ‘The Church’ do?

Chapter 6 – What hope is there?