Sunday Single Mom
Mothers Leading Outside the Box: Spiritual Leadership Inside the Home
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Reminded of my original inspiration
I am looking forward to the continued process of researching and compiling information for this resource.
What are your thoughts?
Sunday, September 30, 2007
Global Impact Starts at Home
There are so many women out there who are hurting each Sunday AM. I received an email from a woman this week who shared her sadness with those who ask how she is doing, but don't follow through the caring process of really showing they want to know how she and her husband are doing.
For instance, I go to church every week, and occasionally, respectfully, I share my husband 's needs and prayer etc. But very rarely, very rarely do people call him up and encourage him, and there is even less follow up. It may be hard, it may seem to be outside a comfort zone for some men, but it is not impossible and it is one of those things that can easily be done with God's help.
Honestly, I get angry when my church spends a ton of money and time focusing on 'Global Impact' (I do understand the importance of Global Missions), when little effort is made to reach out to the men (of the many women) I know, who are not attending church or who may not even have a relationship with Jesus Christ. Also, my husband notices these things too.
What is the answer to this dilemma, I do not know. I do know that phone calls, quality time and showing sincere compassion speaks volumes. Are we too busy to care or are we ignorant of how to show it? I am working on this as I continue studying God's word. He is the answer, but how can I apply it to my life, your life or another hurting Sunday Single Mom?
Be ye DOERS of the word, not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. James 1:22
Friday, September 14, 2007
Galatians
I was in the hospital with a friend today and this verse came to my attention. Review and apply.
The 1599 Geneva Study Bible Notes
Chapter 6
6:1 Brethren, 1 if a man be a overtaken in a fault, ye which are b spiritual, c restore such an one in the d spirit of meekness; 2 considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
(1) He condemns persistent and pressing harshness, because brotherly reprehensions ought to be moderated and tempered by the spirit of meekness.6:2 3 Bear ye one another�s burdens, and so fulfil the e law of Christ.
(a) Through the malice of the flesh and the devil.
(b) Who are upheld by the power of God�s Spirit.
(c) Labour to fill up that which is lacking in him.
(d) This is a metaphor which the Hebrews use, showing by this that all good gifts come from God. (2) He touches the problem, for they are commonly the most severe judges who forget their own weaknesses.
(3) He shows that this is the end of rebukes, to raise up our brother who is fallen, and not proudly to oppress him. Therefore every one must seek to have praise of his own life by approving himself, and not by rebuking others.6:5 4 For every man shall bear his own burden.
(e) Christ, in plain and clear words, calls the commandment of charity his commandment.
(4) A reason why men ought to carefully watch themselves not others, because every man will be judged before God according to his own life, and not by comparing himself with other men.6:6 5 Let him that is taught in the word communicate unto him that teacheth in f all good things.
(5) It is fitting that teachers should be helped by their students, as much as they are able.6:7 6 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
(f) Of whatever he has according to his ability.
(6) He commends liberality towards the poor, and first of all chides those who were not ashamed to pretend this and that, and all because they would not help their neighbours, as though they could deceive God. And afterward he compares alms to a spiritual sowing which will have a most plentiful harvest, so that it will be very profitable: and compares being a covetous miser to sowing carnally, from which nothing can be gathered but such things as fade away, and eventually perish.6:8 For he that soweth to his g flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting.
(g) To the commodities of this present life.6:9 7 And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
(7) Against those who are generous at the beginning, but do not continue, because the harvest seems to be deferred a long time, as though the seed time and the harvest were simultaneous.6:10 8 As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all [men], especially unto them who are of the household of faith.
(8) Those that are of the household of faith, that is, those who are joined with us in the profession of one self same religion, ought to be preferred before all others, yet in such a way that our generosity extends to all.6:11 9 Ye see how large a letter I have written unto you with mine own hand.
(9) The fourth and last part of the epistle, in which he returns to his principal end and purpose: that is, that the Galatians should not allow themselves to be led out of the way by the false apostles. And he points out what those false apostles are really like, reproving them of ambition, as men who do not act because of any affection and zeal they have for the Law, but only for this purpose, that they may purchase themselves favour amongst their own sort, by the circumcision of the Galatians.6:12 As many as desire to make a h fair shew in i the flesh, they constrain you to be circumcised; only lest they should suffer persecution for the k cross of Christ.
(h) He sets a fair show against the truth.6:13 For neither they themselves who are circumcised keep the law; but desire to have you circumcised, that they may glory in l your flesh.
(i) In the keeping of ceremonies.
(k) For the preaching of him that was crucified.
(l) That they have entangled you in Judaism, and yet he dwells on the aspect of circumcision.6:14 10 But God forbid that I should m glory, save in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by whom the world is crucified unto me, and I unto the world.
6:16 And as many as walk according to this rule, peace [be] on them, and mercy, and upon the n Israel of God.
(10) He does not dwell in comparing himself with them, showing that on the other hand he rejoices in those afflictions which he suffers for Christ�s sake, and as he is despised by the world, so does he in the same way consider the world as wicked. And this is the true circumcision of a true Israelite.
(m) When Paul uses this word in good sense or way, it signifies to rest a man�s self wholly in a thing, and to content himself in it.
6:17 11 From henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear in my body the o marks of the p Lord Jesus.
(n) Upon the true Israel, whose praise is from God and not from men; (Romans 2:29).
6:18 12 Brethren, the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ [be] with your q spirit. Amen. �[To [the] Galatians written from Rome.]�
(11) Continuing still in the same metaphor, he opposes his miseries and the marks of those stripes which he bore for Christ�s sake, against the scar of the outward circumcision, as a true mark of his apostleship.
(o) Marks which are burnt into a man�s flesh, as they used to do in ancient times, to mark their servants that had run away from them.
(p) For it very important whose marks we bear: for the cause makes the martyr, and not the punishment.
(12) Taking his farewell of them, he wishes them grace, and the Spirit against the deceits of the false apostles, who labour to beat those outward things into their brains.
(q) With your minds and hearts.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Sunday Single Mom
09/13/07
Emailed a friend for perspective.
Spent several hours in study, note taking, reading
Chapter 1:
Problem: What is it?
1 Corinthians 11:3, "Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God."
Chapter 2:
What kind of Sunday Single mom are you?
(1) Mom's who are taking on the Spiritual Leadership duty because their husband's are not actively leading.
(2) Mom's whose husband's are not around due to no fault, work, military assignment, etc.
(3) Mom's who are single, the only parent in the home, and there is no other alternative.
Chapter 3:
What to do about feelings, frustrations and regrets?
Chapter 4:
Perspective: What can I do?
Chapter 5:
What 'can' the church do?
Chapter 6:
Danger Signs
What can happen when a woman rules over her husband?
What can happen if a married woman finds herself attracted to a man in church who is honoring God?
Chapter 7:
What hope is there?
Hope for your children
Hope for your husband
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
The 1599 Geneva Study Bible Commentary
3:1 Likewise, 1 ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; 2 that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
(1) In the third place he sets forth the wives� duties to their husbands, commanding them to be obedient. (2) He speaks namely of those who had husbands who were not Christians, who ought so much the more be subject to their husbands, that by their honest and chaste conversation, they may win them to the Lord.3:3 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward [adorning] of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;
(3) He condemns the unrestrained indulgences and excesses of women, and sets forth their true apparel, such as is precious before God, that is, the inward and incorruptible, which consists in a meek and quiet spirit.3:4 But [let it be] the a hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, [even the ornament] of a meek and quiet spirit, which is b in the sight of God of great price.
(a) Who has his abiding place fastened in the heart: so that the hidden man is set against the outward adorning of the body.3:5 4 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:
(b) Precious indeed and so taken of God.
(4) An argument taken from the example of women, and especially of Sarah, who was the mother of all believers.3:6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are 5 not afraid with any amazement.
(5) Because women are by nature fearful, he gives them to understand that he requires of them that subjection, which is not wrung out from them either by force or fear.
I need your help!
I have a passion for Christian study of women's issues and the actions needed for them to complete the process of Sanctification.
Currently, I am writing a book called Sunday Single Mom. The purpose of the book is to encourage moms who may have the sole responsibility of spiritual leadership in their home regardless of the circumstances. This may leave some women on the fence about whether or not they are truly being obedient to God in this role, a role initially intended for the husband/father. What is their responsibility? How can this be done without compromising the headship of the husband in the marriage? Etc.
Since I am doing research and am trying to do this scientifically, I must collect data. I was hoping you could help me by answering a few questions. Please include your name and phone number with your answers, should I need to clarify or expound. Should I use your answers or situation in final publication, I will ask you to sign a waiver. Answering these questions does authorize use of them on my research website. Otherwise correspondence will be confidential.
To verify my credits, I have been a Field Leader for MOPS International for many years and retired this past January to focus on writing this book, homeschooling my children and personal interest. You may have seen some of my articles over the years in the MOPS leadership magazine, Connections, Mom-E-Mails and recently in MomSense. Please consider this in your decision to assist me. My personal deadline for completion of this project is March 2008. So if you can send your answers soon, I would greatly appreciate your help.
Please answer the following questions and email your answers to amy.powers007@gmail.com.
1. Is this (Sunday Single Mom) really a problem? Would you be interested in learning more about this subject for yourself or someone you know?
2. What passages of scripture or resource gave you the most strength?
3. What support inside or outside the church helped? If none, what support do you think you needed from the church?
4. What are your feelings/frustrations, what areas are you the weakest?
5. What did you regret, that did you learned from and would do differently?
6. How would you encourage a mother today going through similar circumstances?
7. Why are you a Sunday Single Mom? What is your story?
8. Any extra comments you might add...
Thank you so much for your help. You guys (ladies) are the best!
Blessings,
Amy Powers
Book Proposal
In my role as a leader, mentor and listener to women over the years, I have witnessed a common problem. Women are often left to fulfill the role of spiritual leader in the home. (Define Spiritual Leader or God centered leadership role in marriage.) Their husbands for whatever reason do not come to church. They do not have conviction or passion to lead their wives and children to worship and share in the fellowship with other believers. How can that change? (Define God's words on a husbands/fathers role in marriage.) I know that is something a wife does not directly have control over. Her role as leader in the home is not over her husband, but as a helpmeet to him and a leader to her children. So that is where we must start.
TITLE (A "Working Title" is fine):
Sunday Single Mom or Spiritual Single Mom
AUTHOR (Including a bit about yourself and why you are qualified to write this book):
I believe my life experiences do qualify me as an authority on the subject.
My husband, David and I have been married for 10 years. We have two children, Justin and Skylar. They are vivacious and beautiful.
My husband suffers from diabetes, depression and social anxiety. One of the side affects to his physical and mental illnesses is sleeping long hours and not wanting to participate in social events due to anxiety. We have attended three types of churches in our communities: a small, medium and very large. We were hopeful that one of these factors would make a difference, but we were wrong.
David goes in and out of depression for various reasons. One thing that has helped is learning I can not change him. Every part of me has tried. I have been nice and I have been sinful in trying to get him to attend church. Trying to control him has affected my attitude to the point of difficultly for me to worship God. Seeing his lack of interest in the spiritual welfare of our home was frustrating.
I grew up in a home where my dad was a good example of spiritual leadership. So, I struggled with what to do. I was embarrassed to attend Church without him. I felt judged that I was not a 'good' Christian wife. I took his absence deeply personal and resented him for putting me in this situation. I was hurt that he did not want our children to experience a balance in leadership (partnership) from their parents. This balance is God's intentions. When I returned from church, I was angry. It was as if I had never gone. I fell into a very dark cycle.
One evening, at a weekly prayer meeting, just before Mother's Day I was convicted of my attitude and bad behavior. The focus of the meeting was on thankfulness and prayers for our mothers. During the meeting, the leader opened the microphone to anyone who wanted to share a special praise or testimony in regards to their mother. One man came forward and shared of his mother's faithfulness to bring him to church and how his dad never went. He honored his mother by staying involved and becoming the Godly man his father had not become. There were many others testimonies that softened my heart to the reality that it was my responsibility to train my children in the way they should go despite my husband's actions. I was thankful for those testimonies and as I looked around the room full of mothers crying, I noticed these mothers were crying because they were alone: alone on Sundays, Wednesdays and alone during many of the other church events...just like me. That night I asked God to give me strength and wisdom to raise my children to be godly adults. I had to change, I could not change anyone.
My struggles have not changed much over the years. I still get frustrated. One thing that has changed, my children and I are always in church. When I return home, I have a sweet spirit, not an angry one. I am not biter but confident in my role as a parent who is raising her children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
How does this affect my husband? 1 Peter 3:1-6 describes my role as a wife.
...to be continued
AUDIENCE (Who will buy and read your book?):
(1) Christian mothers whose husband is a Christian, but is not actively attending church. They may be doing this for one of the following reasons:
Absence: He is away due to employment, military assignment, etc.
Anger: They are offended by someone in the Church and not ready to return, they are mad at God
Apathy: They do not care
Arrogance: They think they know more than anyone or can learn about God without attending Church
Embarrassed: There is a feeling of sin or shame and they can not bring themselves to Church
Ignorance: They do not know God's intentions for fellowship of the believers and are out of His will
Illness: Physical or mental disorders
Unfulfilled: The church does not have things in place that offers them spiritual fulfillment.
(2) Christian mothers whose husband is not a Christian.
(3) Single/Teen mothers who clearly have no choice.
(4) Church Leaders/Lay People whom can use this as a resource in their Women's Ministry.
FORMAT of the book (Size, how it is organized, number of pages): Topical Chapter Book, pages undetermined at this time
NEED for this book:
Over the last 4 years, working in the MOPS ministry, I have met many mothers who are the only ones bringing their children to Church and leading them in spiritual maturity. Unfortunately in our church culture, this is a larger problem than we realize. There is a need for women to have a resource to encourage them and guide them as they make healthy choices as a mom and/or wife.
PURPOSE of this book:
The goal is to nurture mothers in confidence as they lead in an area which may be outside their comfort zone. God is sad they have to carry this responsibility on their own, but He is pleased with their obedience. He cares for them, their hearts' desires and their families' eternity. The purpose of this book is to show mothers (if married) how they can be their children's spiritual leader and still respect their husband, and even win him over to Christ. For a married or unmarried mother, this book will encourage them to stay focused, help them through struggles and ultimately raise Godly children. Children that will one day rise up and call her blessed.
Similar books on the market and how this one would be different (go to book store, be diligent about this research):
I have researched the Library of Congress and the World Wide Web and I have not found one resource on this specific topic. There are things similar but not exclusive.
MARKETING AVENUES (How/Where would this book be best marketed and do you have contacts that could help?):
The best time of year to market a new mothering book is in the spring around Mother's day. It is a popular time for advocating women's issues in the church as well.
I am a member of a church with 15,000+ members and the pastor is very kind to his congregates that authors books. Also his sermons are web cast all over the world. Any mention would be beneficial.
Being in MOPS Leadership for many years, I have met hundreds of pastors from all denominations. I could use that networking system as well to promote the book. Churches with strong women's ministries would benefit as well.
Last, the publishing company would provide information on it through advertisement, website and catalog publications.
Please provide a summary of the summary of the book in one to three paragraphs, as well as the chapter titles and a one-paragraph description of each chapter.
Include at least three sample chapters, including the first chapter.
Chapter 1 – What is the problem?
Chapter 2 – What to do about feelings, frustrations & regrets?
Chapter 3 – What kind of Sunday Single Mom are you?
Chapter 4 – What can I do?
Chapter 5 – What can ‘The Church’ do?
Chapter 6 – What hope is there?
